In order to maintain a warm relationship with those around us it is important for us to also maintain our true values, remaining clear on our boundaries and have clarity on what our needs are.
Anthony (Tony) Robbins has spoken of the 6 Human Needs which are defined as both Personal and Spiritual Needs much like the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
In the relationships we have, what do we like to be certain of and how much variety do we like to have?
What is significant to us may not be significant to others, as much as the need for a safe and secure environment compared to have variety and challenges.
Trust in self comes before trust in others. What does it mean to trust? Is it only about respect for another?
In order to build these warm relationships, it is required that we feel our fears and release them. Know that you do belong, you are good enough and you are loved.
I wonder if you are so used to being invisible, feeling that you don’t matter, that when you do speak up you are apologetic to taking up someone’s time?
As much as we are allowed to feel what we are needing to feel, let’s not get caught up in creating a reality for someone else. How you see your world is your choice; perceiving someone else’s world is also your choice – it may be an incorrect assumption though, remember that.
Imagine the realization that you may be a slave or victim of your past beliefs. We can change our beliefs at any time – whether they are rules we have for ourselves and others, or what we value, or how we see the world in a Global context. Experience your emotions, acknowledge them, then let them go. Release those emotions so that you can focus on what comes next. Be clear on where you are headed. Seek direction if you cannot – that is why we are here, for YOU.
We often care so deeply for our children that we do not recognize the need for loving ourselves. Often we wrap ourselves up in hurt and pain, loneliness and judgement – now that cannot be good for our soul?
You have a choice. How would you like to live your life?
We shy away from vulnerability because we do not understand its true PURPOSE. To be vulnerable is to have COURAGE. When you have the courage to acknowledge your vulnerabilities then you have access to your emotions and you stand tall owning them. Here you will find Self-Love – when you take ownership for your emotions, your hurt, your pain – and this is where you take action to reap the rewards of your Self-Love.
There is no one-way of thinking – when we remove ourselves from being hidden from others, where we make the decision to remove the mask, and let others know our true and authentic self, then we can relish in the reality of being safe, loving ourselves for all there is, being OK with all that happens and knowing that we CAN grow, we CAN achieve, and we CAN love ourselves first.
As a Single Parent we yearn for having a support network when things do not go according to plan – and this happens from time to time.
We like to know that we are safe, not judged for choices we’ve made, and to do this safely it requires Boundaries; for yourself as the Parent and for others who are your “support team”. Both sets of Boundaries are to be honoured by the other person.
So what is it that our Support Network does for us?
If you think that it is to take care of our self-esteem, you are mistaken – that is YOUR job. We can help you with that if you don’t know how – that is perfectly OK.
A support network is not about bending to another person’s belief system of what is acceptable, or having them bend to yours.
Building a Support Network is about having a Community (or a Tribe as we call it). It begins with you building your ‘inner world’ that is celebrated by your Tribe. Achieve an understanding of what you care about and what you hold close to your heart. Then your Tribe can be there for you – Build It And They Will Come (Quote from the movie “Field of Dreams”).